The Elusive Orgasm is comprehensive guide is for women who have never had an orgasm, have lost the ability to orgasm, or have any difficulty reaching orgasm. This book is written for women with no partner, a male partner, or a female partner, at any life stage or age, and with varying physical ability.
The Elusive Orgasm explores the many barriers to reaching orgasm, including stress, other environmental factors, emotional and relationships issues, body image, and physical or medical matters. The author presents suggestions for women who have occasional difficulty with orgasms due to stress, as well as those who rarely or never have an orgasm. This book is also a great resource for women who used to be able to orgasm easily but now find it impossible or difficult to do so, and women who have difficulty reaching orgasm in some situations but not others.
The book features an accurate anatomy section, a chapter on how arousal and orgasm works both physically and emotionally, and how the experience varies from person to person. The book offers step by step suggestions for change in an extremely individualized format. The author has identified 25 different factors pertaining to why women can’t orgasm easily and discusses each in detail. A self-administered rating system helps the reader determine how much each factor influences her individual situation, and therefore where to focus her energy. Then each factor is addressed with self-evaluation checklists, exercises, and step by step suggestions to try. These steps are easy to understand and are presented in a very positive way, always encouraging relaxation and decreasing stressful thoughts and self-pressure.
The book’s best features are the two separate step by step programs: one for becoming comfortable being highly aroused and experiencing orgasm on your own, and another for feeling comfortable being highly aroused and experiencing orgasm with a partner. These well-designed exercises gradually integrate the concepts discussed in the text and help readers practice in a structured but customized way.
The Elusive Orgasm starts right off stating that being orgasmic does not equal being happy: plenty of women who don’t have orgasms are happy with their sex lives, and many who do have orgasms are not. Orgasm is just one of many ways to experience sexual pleasure. The first two chapters aim to help the reader determine if the book can be helpful to her; is her inability to orgasm a problem for her, her partner, both, or neither? Is she interested enough to learn more about orgasm, and does she want to work on it, for herself? The tone of the book is normalizing, reassuring, and non-judgmental, helping a woman identify how she feels and act accordingly. We highly recommend this book for any woman who is not satisfied with her orgasmic capacity, as well as for the therapists who help those women.
Paperback. by Vivienne Cass, PhD. 2007. 310 pages.